Waiters: Geniuses or Goldfish?

Did you know that all waiters in Karachi, especially those working in front of Hot & Spicy kabab rolls, have perfect photographic memories. Yes, they do. Not only because they insist that they do, but also because they believe it themselves. The only problem is that their lenses are broken, the aperture is incorrectly set, their shutter speed is too slow, and the film in their camera has been exposed to too much light.

I learnt this the hard way earlier today when we went to Hot & Spicy and ordered some rolls. There was a few of us there and our order was pretty varied. Some wanted a regular chicken roll, some wanted it in a roti, others wanted garlic-mayo in theirs, and some wanted a club sandwich. I gave the order for seven different people to our waiter, who stood there, memorizing everything I was saying. One look to his face and I knew he was going to mess up. I asked him, at least three times, to write down the order, but he told me, more than three times, that: "Sir. Aap fikar hee na karein. Mujhe sab yaad hai." (Don't worry. I remember the order perfectly). I asked him to repeat the order, through which he fumbled, but was able to get it right after some help from me and my friends. Sort of like a child at school rote-speaking a poem with the help and encouragement of his teacher.

And guess what? Instead of remembering the order perfectly, he messed it up completely. Two garlic-mayos in parathas instead of the one in roti and one chicken roll instead of the two of beef. It was a total disaster. When I told the waiter that I was now in fact karring fikar (worried) and asked him what happened to his perfect memory, all he could muster was a sheepish grin and a scratch on his head. Needless to say, we had to send the order back and this time sent a hand-written note along with the waiter.

So, my Karachiite friends, waiters here are not geniuses; they are more like goldfish with their 5-second memories. Make sure that whenever you go to any restaurant/eatery/kiosk/dhaaba wherever in Karachi, make sure that you tell the waiter to write your order down on PAPER with a PEN (no, not in his mind with air). If the waiter says he does not have a paper and a pen, insist that he brings one and refuse to place the order until he writes it down or you write it down for him.

Unless of course, you don't mind eating beef and garlic when you actually wanted chicken and cheese.