Monday, July 23, 2012

Sorry, Ghalti Se Mistake Ho Gaya


It’s funny that I keep coming back to my blog Ramzan after Ramzan. Perhaps the holy month inspires some creativity in me, just as it seems to do so for many others. For instance, consider Veena Malik and her new show on a channel called Hero TV. How much more creative can one get?

But since I don’t fast, it could be that the holiness of the people around me is somehow conducive to my writing process; that or just the plain hilarity that ensues because of so many people who all of a sudden start doing strange and weird things in this month.

Like calling it Ramadan. What is Ramadan? All my life I have heard it as being Ramzan and said Ramzan and all of a sudden, people are saying Ramadan. Why do we have to pull out our camel-like tongues and say it in Arabic? With this logic, we might as well start calling our drinks Bebsi and our country Bakistan.

Anyhow, if me coming back to my blog every Ramzan is funny, then that’s a good thing, because this is after all a humorous blog.

This year, it was an SMS that inspired me to come here and write again. I will divulge the content of that hilarious text in just a minute, but before I do, I want to comment on the way English is handled by many people here in Karachi. I know I have talked about this before a few times, but it never seems to get old. This time, let me present the conversation as it happened. Here goes:

Electrician: “Jee, aur agar aap ko aato maating switching karnee hai tau aap ko Snow White switch lagana zuroori hoga. Waisay who kuch ziyada mehenga nahee hota, liken woh aik buhat zuroori…”

Me: “Aik second. Snow White switch?”

Electrician: “Jee, jee. Snow White switch. Tau mein keh raha tha…”

My cousin: “Aap kaheen cellulite switch kee baat tau naheen kar rahai…”

Electrician: “Jee, jee, jee, jee. Wohi. Sorry, ghalti se spelling mistake ho gaya…”

The humor of this situation does not end here, because apparently it seems that my cousin made a "spelling mistake" as well. There is no such thing as a cellulite switch that is used in generators; I have no idea what it is actually called.

This brings me to the text I received which prompted this blog post. The sender did make a real spelling mistake here:

“May this auspicious month of holy Ramadan-e-Kareem give you the guidance to do good and shun evil. May Allah shower you with blessings and accept your farts.”

But I have yet to receive an apology for it.