Almost everyone is health conscious these days but almost everyone is also very lazy. People tend to shy away from doing any exercise and prefer to sit or lie down all day. Most people are so lazy that they won't have anything else but 'fast' foodi delivered to their homes/offices just so they won't have to make any unnecessary movements other than sitting or lying down. This is a big problem as it can be very difficult to motivate people to take up exercise. This is why I have come up with a very viable solution for everyone for this upcoming summer. I present to you: the Modern Day Exercises for Shedding a Load During Load Shedding
1. The Generator Starter Bend and Pullii: Great for your back and arms and very easy to execute. Flip the switch on the generator, bend down and grab the rope, strain your back a bit, and pull with a sudden jerk. Repeat as many times 'load-shedding' occurs or 6 to 8 times a day, whichever comes first.
2. The Forearm Newspaper Fan Swivel: No electricity and feeling hot? Need to build those forearm muscles? All you need is a newspaper and an arm and you are all set. Just hold up the paper in your hand, point it towards your face, and swivel your arm in a faniii-like motion. Feel cool and develop those bi/tri-ceps!
3. Electricity Generating Treadmill Generator: Don't have a generator, but a lot of flab around your tummy? Worry not. Here is a solution that works as a double-edged sword killing you two birds with the same stroke: an innovative new technology that combines your treadmill with an inductor, alternator, and whatnot in order to give you the first ever Human Powered Electricity Generator DELS1000iv. Simply start running on the treadmill, shed a load, and worry not about load shedding. Order yours today!v
4. The Jog-Cool Off: The humid weather with an unpowered ceiling fan getting you down? Missing the cool wind hitting your face 6 to 8 hours a day? Just get up and start jogging. Doesn’t matter where you do it, as long as you keep running and let the air around you breeze into youvi.
i e.g. inexplicably heaped salads
ii works only if you have a manually starting generator. For those who do not have a generator refer to the Forearm Newspaper Fan Swivel or the Electricity Generating Treadmill Generator.
iii not the ceiling fan
iv Designed Especially for Load Shedding.
v For more details on how to order this revolutionary new device, leave a comment below.
vi This is actually not a joke*. I remember many years ago, one of my aunts employed a kid (who had come down all the way from cold-weathered Chitral) to help around the house. Poor kid used to live in a small room with asbestos roofing and his room would get really hot in the summers. You can imagine how he must feel when the electricity would go off, leaving him sweating in the hot and humid summer weather of Karachi. One day, during the load-shedding hour, we heard noises, like someone was running around the house in circles. My cousin and I went to investigate and found the kid running around the house in circles. We stopped him and asked him what he was doing, to which he told us that running makes the air hit him like a breeze.
*I am seriously not joking. Scouts’ honor.
1. The Generator Starter Bend and Pullii: Great for your back and arms and very easy to execute. Flip the switch on the generator, bend down and grab the rope, strain your back a bit, and pull with a sudden jerk. Repeat as many times 'load-shedding' occurs or 6 to 8 times a day, whichever comes first.
2. The Forearm Newspaper Fan Swivel: No electricity and feeling hot? Need to build those forearm muscles? All you need is a newspaper and an arm and you are all set. Just hold up the paper in your hand, point it towards your face, and swivel your arm in a faniii-like motion. Feel cool and develop those bi/tri-ceps!
3. Electricity Generating Treadmill Generator: Don't have a generator, but a lot of flab around your tummy? Worry not. Here is a solution that works as a double-edged sword killing you two birds with the same stroke: an innovative new technology that combines your treadmill with an inductor, alternator, and whatnot in order to give you the first ever Human Powered Electricity Generator DELS1000iv. Simply start running on the treadmill, shed a load, and worry not about load shedding. Order yours today!v
4. The Jog-Cool Off: The humid weather with an unpowered ceiling fan getting you down? Missing the cool wind hitting your face 6 to 8 hours a day? Just get up and start jogging. Doesn’t matter where you do it, as long as you keep running and let the air around you breeze into youvi.
i e.g. inexplicably heaped salads
ii works only if you have a manually starting generator. For those who do not have a generator refer to the Forearm Newspaper Fan Swivel or the Electricity Generating Treadmill Generator.
iii not the ceiling fan
iv Designed Especially for Load Shedding.
v For more details on how to order this revolutionary new device, leave a comment below.
vi This is actually not a joke*. I remember many years ago, one of my aunts employed a kid (who had come down all the way from cold-weathered Chitral) to help around the house. Poor kid used to live in a small room with asbestos roofing and his room would get really hot in the summers. You can imagine how he must feel when the electricity would go off, leaving him sweating in the hot and humid summer weather of Karachi. One day, during the load-shedding hour, we heard noises, like someone was running around the house in circles. My cousin and I went to investigate and found the kid running around the house in circles. We stopped him and asked him what he was doing, to which he told us that running makes the air hit him like a breeze.
*I am seriously not joking. Scouts’ honor.
3 comments:
haha this was hilarious.
i love the serious tone of humour.
and finally you are blogging again :D your posts always crack me up.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
man, would you like to write for us at karachiites.wordpress.com
we'd love to have u on board
ur fantastic
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